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Showing posts from November, 2019

Why we Celebrate

I haven’t broached this subject much before, but with Oscar’s 2nd Birthday on Monday I feel I need to share. On this journey of now parenting a son that is dead we have been told our loss is less painful than someone whose child was older that died, made to feel absurd to have cake for our dead son’s birthday, and given wary looks when we correct you and say we have 3 sons instead of 2. Let me start with this statement that we have been told, “Oscar was a baby when he died, their son was Theodore’s age it is so much worse for them.” If you have thought this or said this to someone like us, you have never had a child die. You can't understand what it is like even if you really wanted to and what sane person really wants to try and feel what it is like to have their child die? You can’t empathize with us, you can’t put yourself in our shoes because the pain and heartache of living in this world without one of your children is something you can’t understand unless it happened to yo