Skip to main content

The Beginning


I always thought about possible writing, but never thought it would be in this way. My name is Julie and my husband and I Brian are expecting our 2nd child in December. On Friday, July 28, I was 19 weeks, and we had our 4 week check up. Leading up to this point things have a been a bit different with this pregnancy then they were with our 2.5 yr old son Theodore. I found out I was pregnant on Thursday, April 20, during our spring break. I told Brian the next day and needless to say he was quite surprised. We were planning to have a baby at some point during the 17-18 school year just not quite in December, but the Lord always has the master plan. We shared the news with immediate family and close friends. We had our first ultrasound to confirm the gestation of the baby on Thursday, May 4. Everything looked fine and baby’s heart rate was 129 bpm and was measuring as we expected and would be due December 22, 2017.

My next check-up was Thursday, June 1. I would be 11 weeks the next day. I felt like you do normally during pregnancy: tired, appetites off, sick to your stomach, headaches, nothing new, but when our midwife tried to find our baby’s heartbeat using the doppler she couldn’t find it. We searched for about 10 minutes and decided that the baby was still too low in my pelvis. She brought in the portable ultrasound machine and found baby. The machine was older so she could identify the baby and see the heart beating, but Brian and I had a hard time distinguishing shadows from body parts. We both left that day a little uneasy, but I told myself the baby is fine I will go back on Friday, June 30, and we will hear the baby then.


A week before my appointment I called the doctor’s office panicked worried, “What if the baby’s heart wasn’t beating, what if something happened?” The nurse assured me it was normal to not hear the heartbeat that early in pregnancy and I would hear the baby at the next appointment. On June 30, I went to my appointment by myself. Brian was working summer school and I thought it will be a normal check up. The midwife and I talked a bit and then I said, “I really want to hear my baby.” The midwife searched and searched and no heartbeat again. At this point tears are streaming down my face. She went and got the ultrasound again and there our baby was. Laying calming and I could see the flutters on the ultrasound of the heart beating. That day I didn’t hear what I wanted, but I did see the baby was alive and saw the heart beating.

I got the orders at that appointment to make my anatomy ultrasound. I was excited we would finally be able to find out if it was a boy or girl. I was told too this could be scheduled anytime during 18-22 weeks which was perfect because my sister who lives in Brooklyn, NY would be home in Ohio visiting and Brian’s older sister would be home visiting from Malaysia too, so they would get to join us in finding out this joy. I called the Maternal Fetal Medicine office and was told they would not schedule me till 22 weeks. I said okay and had my ultrasound scheduled for Friday, August 11. The scheduler really wanted me to come in the following week, but missing school the first week is not a good idea for any teacher, but especially when you teach students with Multiple Disabilities. My best friend told me about My Little Me, so Brian and I decided that we would schedule an appointment there to find the gender that way we could have our gender reveal party before our sisters had to return to their homes. Little did we know that it was this appointment that would revel a future for us very different than the one we'd originally expected.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pulmonary Atresia with Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD)

To everyone that has prayed for Oscar. Please keep praying. Today at his fetal echo cardiogram we found out he has Pulmonary Atresia with Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). What this means is that there normally is a pulmonic valve that opens and allows blood to exit the heart through the right ventricle. Oscar's pulmonary atresia valve is permanently sealed or absent. Along with that, the main pulmonary artery is very small about 1/4 of the size it should be and it is much smaller than the Aorta. Oscar also has fluid surrounding his entire heart which was not there on the August 1 ultrasound. His heart function is okay, but it is not good. During the 2 hour fetal echocardigram there were also signs of fetal arrhythmia of Oscar's heart rate dropping lower and more quickly then it should. Going forward we need your prayers for our son's heart. We believe in a God that heals and does miracles. We don't know if Oscar being born alive is going to be that miracle we are gi...
Post a Comment
Read more

3 years

3 years today since Oscar left us and went to Heaven. I can't help, but replay his last days in my mind and vividly recall certain details. For any parent with a sick child whether that child was an infant, child, teenager, or adult those last days, hours, and minutes are such a blessing to have, but still so painful when you allow yourself to really remember them. You look back and you can't help, but wonder if you made the right decisions, did you push them too hard, why didn't you see how sick they really were. Those are things that after 3 years I still wonder and I am sure always will.  To someone that hasn't lived through their child dying you are probably thinking that doesn't seem healthy, but for us that have lived through this I beg to differ that I think it is completely normal. You see as a parent you always want to do what is best for your child to make sure they are happy, healthy, and feel loved. My child is not here to think about those things prese...
3 comments
Read more

Meeting some of Estella's Team

Brian and I headed for the MFM office Tuesday, August 1. Our appointment was at 10:45am and we got called back around 11:00am. Our ultrasound technician was wonderful. She was so kind and it turned out she lived in the same town we did. It was a long ultrasound and one where questions were asked, but answers were not able to be given. Estella was moving a lot during the first half of the ultrasound which was fun to see and good to hear her heartbeat (155 bpm). Throughout the ultrasound the technician had to leave from time to time to talk to the doctor and to see what remaining images he wanted. About 12:30pm the ultrasound was finally completed and into the room came the maternal fetal medicine specialist doctor and genetic counselor. The doctor told Brian and me that our baby had some significant birth defects: a bilateral cleft lip with possible palate involvement, a VSD heart defect, and Dandy Walker Malformation that affects the cerebellum in the brain. I sat on the ultrasou...
Post a Comment
Read more