Before Oscar and After Oscar

My plan 

For those of you that know me personally know I am a planner. I like to know what is going on, I like to have control. Back when I was on maternity leave with Theodore I vividly remember sitting in our green layzboy rocking him one morning and coming up with a plan for how I was going to get to stay home with him after we had our second child. I remember sitting there trying to calculate in my head and justify to myself that he was going to spend half of his life up until Baby #2 arrived being watched by a sitter while I went back to teaching and that wasn’t that bad. I so wanted to stay home with my baby boy, but we just couldn’t quite afford it yet.

Christmas Card 2015

The 15-16 school year went by surprisingly quickly. Theodore had a wonderful sitter who watched him and my nephew, Jack. The boys would rotate between our house and his cousins’ house every 2 weeks. It was a great set up. We so enjoyed being a family of 4: Brian, Theodore, Chuck, and I. 

I worked with a wonderful group of women that year too. We were one rocking team and had lots of fun during our school days with our students. I always came home with funny stories. That school year I lost the baby weight as well. In the Spring, I joined a 10 week weight loss challenge at school to win a FitBit. Being serious about losing weight was one of the best things I did for my health and marriage in my adult life. Brian and I began running together on Saturdays and going to LBs Circuit Training. We talked and laughed a lot while training for our first Glass City Half and after we continued to do family runs while pushing our Theodore in the stroller.

My 15-16 class 

The 16-17 school year was a whole other story. In the fall of 2016, I went through a terrible episode of depression. There were no triggers my medication just stopped working. Brian and I were training that fall for the Santa Hustle at Cedar Point and I remember one morning I went early to circuit train at LBs and not being able to function during the class. I was a nervous wreck, I couldn’t concentrate, I panicked, something was wrong. I knew working out was good for my mental health, but I had to stop. I kept losing weight because I had no appetite and my sleeping was all messed up, so waking up at 4:30am was something I quickly lost the energy to do.

Theodore's 2nd Birthday 11-19-16

That October - December was filled with lots of doctor visits and medication changes. Along with that our sitter situation for Theodore and Jack was a mess that school year. Kari, my sister in law, and I spent that summer interviewing individuals. We found these people on Care.com (don’t ever do that). We kept going through sitters, they weren’t reliable, it was just rough. For those of you that work and have small children there is nothing like waking up each morning thinking is the sitter going to be able to work today or call off with some excuses. Finding good childcare is hard, so when you find someone awesome, do what you can to keep them.

Then came my classroom that year. When I went into teaching in 2009 Multiple Disabilities was my passion. I love that population and I was very good at managing a MD classroom. In Sylvania Schools that year they began the practice of mixing the Multiple Disabilities population with the Emotional Disturbed population because those students all fell under the umbrella of Moderate to Intense. I had a student added to my classroom that completely changed everything (set-up, personnel, routines, etc…). It was awful and it was never ending and it continued into the 17-18 school year.

If you remember 17-18 school year is my year. The year I am supposed to have another baby. Well guess what April 20, 2017, I found out I was pregnant. I finished the 16-17 school year trying to be very careful with that ED student. I was fortunate the district hired a paraprofessional to assist this student which allowed me to step back from some of the physical demands that student required. Kaser Baby #2 was due December 22, 2017. Once I knew my due date I began planning my maternity leave. I was fortunate with Theodore I took off almost 5 months November 19, 2014 - April 13, 2015. Baby #2 was not going to get quite that much, but the plan was to work till Christmas break that year if the baby cooperated and return to work after Spring Break which was April 3, 2018. I would then finish the school year, put in my letter of resignation and then I would become a SAHM.

Well if you're reading this you probably know already my plan did not work that way. Our Oscar Graham changed my plan, our families plan, he changed everything. I think that is all I have for today. I started this post to relay how I felt about staying at home, it didn’t become that, but rather told the story of before Oscar. I think I am realizing my life is characterized by that now before Oscar and after Oscar. Thanks for reading #OscarStrong.