I have attempted to write this post multiple times in the last 2 years and just never have been able to quite finish it. My thoughts would come out, but they were never quite complete. So here is my attempt today.
It will be 6 years on Saturday you have been gone and I can honestly say not a day goes by that you are not thought of. I constantly wonder what our life would look like if you were here. I know it would look different, but I can't help but think it would still be so very much the same just filled with even more love and joy because of you. I also am not so naive to know it would not have more hardships too.
Your life, your odyssey, Oscar, gave so much hope and joy to others. You were so very loved by individuals that never even met you. I think that is what your Dad and I are still trying to do for you six years later to continue your odyssey. To honor your life and memory, by spreading love and hope, and remembering the sweet promise that we will be reunited with you again in Heaven.
I think in the last six years we have gotten better at living without you. At times I feel guilty about that, but I also know we are meant to heal. We love a God that has walked with us daily through this and continues even now to provide individuals in our lives that have been Jesus' hands and feet to us. I have learned how to grieve better if that is possible. I have learned that you have to feel the sadness of the loss in order to move forward. I definitely do not love it, but I know now it is needed. I have learned to give myself grace and space at certain times of the year that are so hard without you. I do not expect much of myself those weeks or days and I also try and not expect much of others.
We miss you and I wish I could hold you today. It makes me really sad that I can’t, but I will do my best to be present today for your brothers and we as a family will continue your odyssey. We love you Oscar Graham Kaser.
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