Hello #OscarStrong Family!!!
Yes, I used the word family and those of you who know me well know I do so sincerely. It has been a while and we thought we were due for a check in. The last several months seem like somewhat of a haze. Our family has been forced to find a rhythm when it seems like none exist. It is only through God's unconditional love along with all of your love and support that has pushed and pulled us up each peak that seems insurmountable at the time. Most nights Julie and I just stare at each other and have nothing to say except "something is missing." Our family just feels incomplete.
I can recall trying to console others, after their loss of a loved one with a phrase along the lines of "Time heals all wounds" I would like to propose a modification: "Time allows you the ability to deal with all wounds." I would describe Julie and I as functional, but uncomfortable. We both just really miss Oscar and walk around in a daze at times. Personally I have had a hard time balancing acceptance, understanding, and faith. There are days when it is just easier to pretend it didn't happen or it was just a dream. These are usually followed with "Why us" thoughts. During these difficult times the Lord usually puts an encouraging word in my ear from a variety of sources: Theodore comes over with a big bear hug, a song comes on that pulls at my heart strings, or one of you reaches out with a kind word. I am not sure where this journey will take us or what it all means, but I do know that we must keep moving.
A little over a month ago Oscar’s grave marker was placed. We are so glad his spot is finally marked, but it is also so hard to see his name there. It serves as a beautiful memorial for Oscar. I am not totally sure how to describe the feeling of having to go “visit” your son at the cemetery, but I suppose surreal will do for now. I use quotations around visit because we know and believe that Oscar is in heaven already in the presence of our Lord and Savior and knowing that provides comfort.
#OscarStrong #TeamOscar
Thank you for the update, Brian and Julie. I think of you both often, as well as Theodore and Oscar.
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