Oscar's Odyssey/Stella's Story

As I drove home from work yesterday, way later than I should, I turned on K-Love and Ryan Stevenson song was on Eye Of the Storm . I drove and listened and just thought thank you Lord for knowing me and meeting me right now where I feel broken, tired, and hurt. Life is messy especially when you have people that you love and care about. You open yourself and make yourself vulnerable to being hurt. I don’t like to be vulnerable. I don’t like to be open with many people where that hurt can happen to me. In saying that, in Matthew 18, Peter asked Jesus, “Lord how many times should my brother sin against me and I forgive him? 7 times?” and Jesus said, “No, but 70 x 7”. I realized Chuck our family dog has yet to make his blog debut!   My hope is to go into today with a fresh attitude and an unbroken spirit and know my God is with me and He is beside me. My goal is not to be an earthly witness of God’s love, but a heavenly one and I fall short daily, but that is why in Lamentations 3:2

O scar was quite the important guy yesterday with an appointment at the OB at 3:15pm and a recheck at My Little Me at 4:45pm. During our OB appointment we got to hear his sweet heartbeat. 161 bpm, the fastest we have heard it beat yet and our Midwife was able to find him right away. At My Little Me, we got some adorable shots. Two things Brian and I have learned about Oscar: he likes my placenta as a pillow and hangs out way down in my uterus it seems like all the time (or at least when we are at appointments) and he is a no photo kind of kid. Some other news the insurance company denied our appeal for the CellFree DNA Genome Blood Screen that we did on August 1. In a letter we received the insurance company stated, “The Medical Director has stated since there are significant malformations on second trimester ultrasound, invasive diagnostic testing (amniocentesis) is the preferred diagnostic test per Paramount Health care policy. If there is a medical exception, this may be submit

Y esterday was my first day back to school. Starting a new school year is never easy if you're a teacher. There is lots of preparation, stress, anxiety, your list never is done, and you feel never quite ready for those students that walk into your room the first day. You love your class. The children, you listen to them, help them, email and call to check on them if they are not at school, make them things, buy them things, for that school year they are your kids. This school year is harder and yet easier at the same time to start. The Lord called Brian and me both into teaching. My husband teaches high school and is blessed with patience to deal with mouthiness and drama of high schoolers like I have never seen. He is a wonderful teacher and cares deeply and dreams big for his students. I teach Moderate/Intense Special Education at the elementary level and am so glad I teach in a district where my students who are cognitively delayed and sometimes physically impaired are inclu

Not very often do you get to do 2 gender reveals in 1 pregnancy especially if you aren't having multiples. Well this pregnancy isn't like most. When Brian’s sister Kari ordered the balls for our 1st gender reveal in July a boy and girl ball were included. Kari and I wondered what are we going to do with the leftover ball? It seems the Lord knew we didn't want that ball to go to waste :). So at Friday night pizza at Brian's parents I pitched the ball again and Brian hit open a baseball of blue powder. Theodore still thinks he is having a little sister, but we have 3 months to convince him that he is having a little brother. We can't wait to meet you Oscar Graham Kaser. You are so loved already. Your name means God’s Spear (Oscar) on Grant’s Homestead (Graham) as a Cheese Maker (Kaser). Your name is different, a little random, but perfect for you. Your nickname Ozzy means strong and you are. Keep living and keep your heart beating. We love you.

On Thursday, we went to the doctor our appointment was at 1:00pm at the MFM office. We did vitals and got to hear our baby boy’s heartbeat. 142 bpm. It took awhile to find it, he was hiding as usual. We got in to see the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist at 2:05pm. We also had a chance to meet the Fetal Concerns Nurse Specialist who along with the Genetic Counselor has been so helpful in answering my questions, setting up appointments for us, and connecting us with individuals who are helping us on this journey. We sat down with the doctor and he asked if we had any questions. Brian asked a few, but mostly we were wondering where do we go from here? The doctor told us that when baby is born he will be tested for Trisomy 13 and the focus will be on his heart and brain. We talked some about Palliative Care and when we would start that process. In most cases, Trisomy 13 babies do go to full term which was something we were both glad to hear. I was relieved I should get to be his lif

Since our last post it has been pretty quiet at the Kaser house until this Wednesday afternoon. I received a call at 1:45pm from our Genetic Counselor. She said the results from the CellFree Genome Blood Screen were in and she would like to go over the preliminary information on the phone. I was headed into school for a meeting and said I would call back at 3pm when I was home, so Brian and I could call together. We called the counselor at 3:10pm and she told us that the screen tested positive for Trisomy 13. She then told us there were 3 different types: full (80% of cases), translocation (20% of cases), and mosaic a very small percentage of cases. Since we opted out of the amniocentesis we would have to wait until baby is born to find out what type of Trisomy 13 it is, and then, depending on the type, whether Brian or I are carriers as well. The Genetic Counselor also told us that with a baby with this disorder there is an increased risk of loss still and death after birth.

Brian and I headed for the MFM office Tuesday, August 1. Our appointment was at 10:45am and we got called back around 11:00am. Our ultrasound technician was wonderful. She was so kind and it turned out she lived in the same town we did. It was a long ultrasound and one where questions were asked, but answers were not able to be given. Estella was moving a lot during the first half of the ultrasound which was fun to see and good to hear her heartbeat (155 bpm). Throughout the ultrasound the technician had to leave from time to time to talk to the doctor and to see what remaining images he wanted. About 12:30pm the ultrasound was finally completed and into the room came the maternal fetal medicine specialist doctor and genetic counselor. The doctor told Brian and me that our baby had some significant birth defects: a bilateral cleft lip with possible palate involvement, a VSD heart defect, and Dandy Walker Malformation that affects the cerebellum in the brain. I sat on the ultrasou